Can I Borrow Your Heart?
by Heart of Diamonds
Summary: How do you overcome the loss of a loved one? What do you do when your life no longer feels like your own? How do you feel when old scars refuse to fade? Who can you trust with your heart after it's been broken so many times before? Meet Bella Swan...BxE
1. Memories

**This is the same chapter one that I originally posted, only with a few changes for flow and character construction…sorry for any confusion!**

**Disclaimer:**** I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT…No matter how much as I wish I did.**

**Hey Ya'll, **

**I'm back again and COMPLETELY EXCITED that this story is **_**finally**_** taking off**

**This one is dedicated to my 2 friends Mikaela and Bella. I've dedicated chapters to them in the past, but this is different considering this fic would not be here if it weren't for those two girls, and a day in music class some few years ago. I HEART YOU BOTH!**

**And finally, to all my readers; I hope you all enjoy reading this story as much as I enjoyed planning it and will definitely enjoy writing it….**

**CAN I BORROW YOUR HEART?**

Chapter 1: Memories

BELLA'S POV:

_December. _

_It was December._

_For many I knew this month would spur old childhood memories of family and joy, and would lay the foundation for many more wondrous moments and memoirs._

_Just the thought of it, Just its name, whispered in excitement; 'December!', would hold images of beautiful white wonderlands, and warm fireplaces that reminded people of home._

_It's name would hold images of mistletoe, and snow angels, frantic last minute shopping sprees, and endless laughter. _

_It's name was forever burnt into my soul._

_From that day forward, I knew I would never forget what December held for me. And what it took away from me- right beneath my nose._

_December._

_It was December._

_As I stood in the bitter snow, my tears freezing on first contact with my cheek, I tried to convince myself that this was all a bad dream._

_That the wooden casket before me was some horrible hallucination, and that the preacher had not been using past tense for the past half hour when he would mention my mother._

_But the casket was not some hallucination. _

_And the preacher __**had**__ been using past tense._

_As I broke down in hysteric tears, and as the coffin was lowered, I swore I would no longer allow for December to hold images of snow angels or mistletoe for me, but that it would remind me of the last few moments I had shared with Renee instead. _

_That's what December would hold. _

_As I brushed away what felt like billions of hands from my shoulder, I walked forward. Though I felt weird, almost as though I was detached from my body, I was still aware of what I wished to do, and threw my roses- red because it had been Renee's favourite colour- into the casket sized hole in the ground. _

_The ironically white and crisp ground, with tufts of lush green grass poking through. _

_Then I turned and-_

I jumped and slowly became aware of an incessant and impatient sounding bell sounding from somewhere around me.

As an extremely annoyed voice joined the bell, the memory of last December finally left my mind, and I found myself leaning on the front counter of my mother's beach side café.

Well, what _had been_ my mother's beach side café. I still forgot sometimes- that Renee was dead.

By the tone of the lady who had been (and still was) ringing the bell, I had obviously been so caught up in my own gloomy memories that I was completely ignoring her.

My mind still a little foggy, I glanced up at her and placing a firm hand on top of hers to stop her from ringing that damn bell one more time, stared her straight in the eyes before interrupting her trill complaining with a sharp, "Yes?" of my own.

By the expression on her face she was taken aback by my response. Though she quickly recovered what seemed to be her naturally snobby demeanour and snatched her hand from beneath mine.

I instantly felt horrible for the way I had handled the situation- I wasn't usually so irritated-though to be completely honest my day had not been overly great so far.

I sighed heavily, and running a frustrating hand through my hair, smiled at her apologetically and said, "Sorry, I've had a pretty rough day. How can I help you?"

The blondes responding smile was stiff as iron and completely fake, "I need a table for two please. Oh, and two coffees. One a short black, and the other a de-caffeinated, skim, soy-milk latte." Without as much as a thank you she slammed a 10 dollar bill on the counter telling me to "keep the change.", and then walked towards a table that was in one of the far corners of the room.

I felt my smile slip and the grey clouds return suddenly over my head, and had to busy myself making the coffees the customer had ordered to save me from running out back and breaking down into hysterical tears.

As I picked up a pen and order-pad, I furrowed my brow in concentration as I tried to remember what exactly had just been ordered. "A short black and a caffeinated, full cream milk latte… _I think_." I muttered to myself.

As I turned on the machine and began grinding the coffee, smiled at a newly arrived customer, and called Angela from out back to serve them, I couldn't help but glance up at Little-Miss-Blonde-Snob over in the corner.

I had my reasons for being temperamental, but I couldn't help from wondering what exactly _her_ reasons were for acting the way she had.

I continued to watch her as I worked, and was consequently able to notice the exact moment when her eyes locked on something near the entrance door and brightened.

Curious, I followed her line of sight and sucked in a sharp breathe at what I saw.

Walking towards her, brief case in hand, was one of the most handsome men I had ever seen. Even from my distance I could see his green eyes sparkle with a bright playfulness that made my heart skip a beat. His strong, masculine jaw line contrasted perfectly with the way his hair fell boyishly into his eyes whenever he glanced around suddenly. He had the sleeves of his business suit rolled up to his elbows, so I was able to see the muscles of his tan arms flex and ripple from the weight of the case and books he was carrying. Though it wasn't just his striking features that made him so attractive. His demeanour- his outward confidence, added a whole new level to his good looks.

As he caught sight of the blonde at the far table, his expression became one of genuine happiness, as he smiled broadly.

Still starring at him I fumbled blindly for a coffee cup, but recoiled sharply with a loud gasp as my hand came into contact with the extremely hot milk flask that was sitting on the marble bench. I glanced down and grasping my hand in a futile effort to ease the white hot pain there, ran over to the basin to run my hand under some cold water.

When the throbbing had eased somewhat I quickly grabbed two coffee cups, placing one of them on the machine so it could slowly fill with decaffeinated coffee.

I watched the blonde woman wrap her arms around the handsome man tightly and my stomach dropped, as I suddenly became very aware of her intense, beauty and the sparkling diamond ring on her left hand.

I laughed dryly beneath my breathe, murmuring to myself, "Typical. All the good ones are not interested, gay, or taken."

I poured some frothed milk into the latte the blonde had ordered, whilst I waited for the rich coffee to fill the second cup which was now sitting on the machine.

When the coffee's were ready, I placed each cup on a saucer with a teaspoon, a tube of sugar, and one of our speciality shortbread biscuits. I grabbed a tray from beneath the bench and carefully placed each cup onto its textured surface. Then, lifting the tray so I could support its weight on my shoulder, I turned to walk out from behind the front counter.

Bumping the door with my hip so it would open, I focused all my attention on not slipping and balancing the tray accurately.

As I walked briskly yet carefully towards the table the beautiful blonde and her handsome partner were sitting at, I smiled at some more familiar customers, and mouthed polite words of waiting to those who were trying to attract my attention.

I was so distracted by my interactions that I happened to conveniently miss the melted chocolate ice cream puddle on the floor. I turned away from a particularly friendly customer I had just exchanged 'hellos' with only to loose my footing, throw my body and arms forward instinctively …

…and fall right into the lap of the very surprised man who I had so recently been gawking at.

I glanced up in panic to see the shocked look of the blonde's face turn into one of confusion and then pure anger. As she stood rigidly, placing her hands on her hips I realised what had made her so furious- her white designer suit (which hugged her voluptuous body perfectly, might I add) had been completely covered in the coffee she had ordered.

Oops.

In my complete shock and embarrassment, I had the sudden urge to laugh manically. Her face was covered in drops of coffee, the ends of her long, silky hair were tinged a light brown colour and her suit was splattered also. And to be completely honest I couldn't help but think she deserved it somewhat- after all she had acted like a bit of bitch earlier. To put it plainly that is.

As I was aware of my self control beginning to slip rapidly, the sound of someone clearing their throat loudly in my ear shocked me into action. I then realised-to my complete horror- that I was still sprawled on the lap of the young man, and murmured a quick apology before blushing furiously and standing up.

Pulling a handful of napkins from the table dispenser furiously I handed them to the irate woman before me, silently baffled by the fact that she still managed to look as gorgeous as ever, and began a tirade of apologies.

"Oh my goodness! I am _so_ sorry! This really has not been my day- though of course this doesn't excuse what just happened. I'm sorry! It was an accident! Oh, I'll pay your for the suit- you can buy a new one! I know if it weren't for me you wouldn't have to buy a new one, but- oh God, I'm sorry!" I don't know how long I stood there, talking incessantly like an idiot, but I shut up as soon as the woman's ice cold gaze met mine.

I gulped audibly and whispered a small, "I really am sorry," just as her so far overly calm poise finally began to crack.

"You're sorry? Well, that's good to know!" she laughed breathlessly, though the sound came out sounding more like a threat to me then something that should calm my nerves. Taking a step towards me, she continued to talk, "Because that makes things easier. I won't have to threaten you nearly as much as I would if you were sympathetic. You will pay for this suit, and then you will pay for the coffee's I ordered- the one's you spilled on me? Actually, you will pay in general. I swear, you will-"

As tone got increasingly harsher and her voice louder, the man who was still sitting at the table, interjected softly, "Rosalie…" he murmured.

I assumed that was her name, and glancing up at her once more, spread my hands before me in a gesture of peace and tried to reason with her once more, "Rosalie? I am so-"

She glanced sharply down at my name tag before saying, "Isabella, is it? I don't give a _crap_, what you are! But I sure as hell know what you are going to do, and that is-"

"Rosalie!" the man's voice was still soft, but his tone was sharper, and he stood and placed a restraining hand on the woman's shoulder.

She turned towards him, a crazed look in her eyes. Though when she noticed who he was her expression seemed to soften a little and I hear her mutter an irritated, "What?"

He smiled softly, no doubt trying to soothe the woman he so obviously loved, and then whispered. "Why don't you go get yourself cleaned up? I'll take care of this."

She stood there for a long moment, staring him in the eyes, almost seeming to gauge if she could really trust him to deal with me. Finally, after giving a curt nod, she grabbed her bag from the back of her chair, gave me a glare that would challenge that of any teenage girl, and sauntered off towards the bathroom.

I glanced up at the man, and his look of openness and pure empathy. I found myself blushing a deep red once more, before I muttered a timid, "Sorry!" and rushed off towards the front counter.

I dashed through the space behind the bench before entering the kitchen and leaning against one of the walls there to regain myself away from prying eyes.

_Shit! Shit! Shit!_ I thought my heart pounding.

I breathed deeply and closed my eyes tightly. I don't know why I had run from the man like I had, or what forces were against me, though I did know that what had just happened was a _complete_ disaster.

Go figure.

"Bella?" I opened my eyes to see a confused and slightly worried looking Angela standing before me.

"Are you ok? You look a little flustered." She moved closer to me slowly and placed a hand on my arm comfortingly, "I know today's a hard day for you, but you know that if you need to talk to anyone, I'm always-"

"-Here for me." I finished for her, nodding in understanding. "_I know_." I placed my hand on top of hers and squeezed it, trying to express my gratefulness. I smiled softly, before sighing and saying "Thank you. But right now I have to go and- uh, clean up a mess." I rolled my eyes as Angela laughed, knowing that the mess I was talking about must have been something to do with my own clumsiness.

Taking a deep breath to calm myself I rounded the corner to stand behind the front counter once more and soon found my curiosity overruled the reason of my mind.

I couldn't help myself and glanced up inquisitively to see if the handsome man or Rosalie were anywhere to be seen in the partly crowded room.

I could not find them anywhere and hurriedly occupied myself with cleaning the coffee machine and loading the already bursting dishwasher (one of the cafes six).

I tried to distract myself from the irrational thoughts racing through my mind- how people were probably laughing at me, about how I had really done it this time- how people wouldn't come here anymore to be served by an uncoordinated idiot.

How I just knew that behind his mask of kindness, the tall and handsome man was most likely laughing at my hopelessness. How if my mother where here, she would be teasing me lightly for my clumsiness. How Renee wasn't here, and how ever since her death I had been a professional, paranoid and almost hollow shell of myself.

How I hated it…How I couldn't change it- change myself.

How. How. How.

Yeah, I tried to distract myself…and failed.

As I paused in my workings and leant against the cool bench to try and calm my racing mind and heart, I saw a faint shadow fall across the stone surface.

I glance up and had to bite my lip to stop myself from squeaking in shock.

He smiled slowly, almost cautiously, at me and I unexpectedly found myself smiling back.

Then, I noticed Rosalie standing behind him, her eyes as icy a blue as ever, and my grin fell with my gaze.

As I suddenly became very involved in straightening the multiple salt and pepper shakers on the counter so they were exactly parallel, I heard the couple exchange soft words of reason and farewell.

When the sound of Rosalie's heeled shoes resounded against the timber flooring I released the breath I had not even realised I had been holding.

I daren't glance up at the striking man before me for fear of dying of embarrassment right there and then; so I simply continued to shuffle the condiments on the bench top.

"You will have to forgive Rosalie, she has a tendency to…_overreact_ sometimes." The sound of his smooth voice made me pause abruptly, and his enunciation of the word _overreact_ highlighted his faint English accent.

The accent made me swoon (internally of course) and I instinctively looked up at him- cursing my lack of restraint.

His smile was boyish and playful and I laughed nervously, unsure of what I would say if I opened my mouth, not trusting myself to say it and not having the strength to excuse myself.

His smile widened a little, before he spoke once more, "It looks like she really got to you, huh?" he ran his hand through his hair in sudden frustration and looking me in the eyes said, "I really do apologise for my sister-in-law, she has quite a temper, I know, but she really does mean well. Even though it may be hard to believe!"

"Sister-in-law?" was the first thing that shot from my mouth.

_Idiot, Bella. Absolute idiot. Could you be any more obvious?_

A perplexed look crossed his face momentarily before realisation replaced it, "Oh you thought…?" he trailed off, laughing breathily. "Oh no. We're not- she's my- uh…well she's marrying my brother. I suppose that means that she isn't my sister-in-law just yet, but I've know Rosalie for so long I can't help but already consider her family."

I nodded furiously, saying weakly, "It's just she was wearing a ring."

I sighed, and taking a loose strand of hair behind my ear, took a moment to think of what exactly I wanted to say before I opened my mouth when my mind did not approve; "I'm sorry. It seems I keep making awful and embarrassing mistakes. I-" Before I could go any further, the sound of his melodic laughter made me halt in what I was saying.

_Great! _I thought instantly. _He's laughing at me! _

I glanced up at the smiling man before me and shook my head in a silent question. Smiling kindly he said, "Everybody makes mistakes," he glanced down at my name tag, "Isabella. And like I said Rosalie did overreact. As for you thinking we were married? Anyone could have assumed that- as a matter of fact many people do, we get it all the time!."

"Bella." My reply was instant and I shut my eyes tightly in frustration at myself, before opening them again and responding to his open expression, "Please, call me Bella."

He smiled and inclining his head said, "Of course, Bella." Then awareness dawned on his handsome face gradually as he shook his head before pointing in his direction and saying, "Edward. I'm Edward."

I smiled, trying to mask the relentless battering of my heart against my chest as his English accent thickened when he said his name, and whispered a, "Well thank you for your kindness, Edward."

He leaned forward to squeeze my hand reassuringly. However, as the spicy scent of his cologne along with the cool minty scent of his breathe reached me, the fuzzy corners of my mind were jolted brutally back to reality as the grey clouds of my subconscious returned.

I leaned back and slowly removed my hand from beneath his, and though I tried not to be, I was annoyingly aware of the way his smile drooped slightly. He murmured a soft "I'll see you around Bella," before gathering his books and briefcase from beside him and leaving via the same doors I had only just seen him enter through.

I sighed heavily and muttered to myself, "You're ruining your life, Bella. Constantly running from things that seem too hard, things that you could one day lose like you lost Renee. And you _know_ it…" I paused and sighed in anger and pure misery, "Well, Good luck- God knows you'll probably need it ."

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

I unlocked the door to my apartment and pulled off my coat as I stepped inside. The day had been reasonably cool, especially for Phoenix this time of year, and my body was susceptible to strong temperatures so I had decided to play it safe and keep warm.

I threw my mobile phone, car and café keys into the coloured glass and crystal encrusted bowl on the kitchen bench.

An odd rustling sound then came from the general direction of my bedroom and I paused instantly.

"Hello?" I called cautiously, my voice shaking a little. "_Hello?_" I repeated, this time more urgently. As an annoyed muttering joined the rustling I smiled knowingly and in relief. I had recognised the soprano voice, and moved towards my bedroom with confidence.

"Alice?" As I entered my room I had to instantly stop myself from gasping in horror at the sight before me; almost all of the cupboards and drawers were open and their contents had been either scattered around inside of them or spilled onto the carpet floor. I glanced briefly into my Ensuite and found it in a similar state.

Alice, my _darling_ best friend, was standing in the middle of the whole mess.

"Alice?" I practically screamed her name at her in confusion and complete anger. "What the hell are you doing?"

She shrugged nonchalantly before beginning to rummage through the drawer that was closest to her, "Looking for something. How was your day?" she stopped suddenly and glanced up at me, her eyes widening as she remembered what exactly _today_ was.

"Oh my Goodness, Bella!" She dropped the pile of underwear she had been holding and rushed towards me with open arms. Despite our height difference I always found her embrace comforting and hugged her back instinctively, forgetting my messy bedroom momentarily.

"_How was your day?_ How are you feeling? Your fine, right? You should be fine! No, you should be better then fine-Renee would want you to be. It is her birthday after all-just consider it your gift to her."

I smiled sadly at Alice before lowering myself heavily onto my bed.

It was March 12- what would have been Renee's forty third birthday.

I stared down at my hands, attempting to ignore the pounding of my heart in my head and trying to delay my tears for a little while longer- I hadn't cried all day and I had no plans to break down now.

However as Alice sat beside me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, I lost all strength and collapsed into a fit of desperate sobs and uncontrollable tears.

I don't know how long we sat there like that, with me wrapped in the warm embrace of my best friend, but I eventually regained my composure and, pulling away, lifted a pair of worn out jeans from where they had been thrown onto my bed.

"Next time you decide to rip through my room like a tornado, do me a favour and spare my favourites? You know I love these jeans, handling them with a little more care wouldn't kill you."

"Well if you ask me, those jeans have been _over_ loved. And since when do you care about fashion?"

I sighed and finally smiling said, "Just because I show no specific interest in fashion itself, does not mean I have no sense of self or style and don't care for my belongings."

Alice rolled her eyes mockingly at me and I shoved her playfully in return.

We both laughed momentarily, before stopping and glancing around the room simultaneously. It was clear we were both thinking the same thing; _How the hell are we going to clean this up?_

I groaned loudly and stood stiffly to begin sorting through the items of clothing and personal belongings that had been thrown astray.

As Alice joined me silently she finally decided to explain the colossal mess, "Remember the curling iron you _stole_ from me a while back because I had pissed you off?"

I nodded and laughed in disbelief as I realised where she was headed, "You're joking me right? You came storming in here when I wasn't home, completely trashed my room, and got caught in the act, just to find a curling iron I took from you? Alice…" I trailed off; laughing again and she paused to face me with her hands on her hips.

"Well it isn't my fault you decided to _steal_ it and then forget all about it! I need it, you know." She said.

"One, it was _completely_ your fault- sorting through my cupboard without asking permission to, not much different to right now actually. And two, I didn't steal it! I just took it when you weren't looking. There is a difference. And I can't see what you need it for, not after you bought that new one." I picked up a pile of neatly folded t-shirts and placed them in the chest beside my bed.

Alice feigned horror before saying, "You can never replace something old with something new! A new memory doesn't replace and old one! Me and that curling iron were like this!" she raised her right hand and crossed her middle and forefinger to display her point, and I had to bite my lip to stop me from laughing again.

I lifted my hands in surrender and backed slowly towards a large cupboard in the far corner of the room. The heavy wooden door creaked as I opened it and the coat hangers tapped against each other as I parted them.

I leant forward, and lifting a lose board from the base of the cupboard, pulled the beauty appliance from the hidden compartment.

Quickly replacing the board and closing the cupboard before Alice could discover my secret hiding place, I turned to her and held out the curling iron as a peace offering.

She threw her hands up in incredulity and muttered, "Typical. I look in the cupboard and find nothing. Bella looks in the cupboard and finds the freaking hidden treasure!"

I smiled softly to myself and handed Alice the curling iron. Then, placing my hand on her forearm, I said, "Go back next door to your apartment, and get ready. I'll clean this up- I'll probably be faster on my own, and I'll call you when I'm about to set up."

She nodded in agreement as I spoke, and picking up her bag from where it had been placed beside my bed, turned to leave.

Nevertheless, as she reached the door frame she turned and asked, "Are you sure you're ok?"

I nodded slowly and said, "I'm peachy. Much better then I was before though. Thank you by the way- I think I needed a little Alice Cullen drama to lighten my mood."

She poked her tongue out at me before laughing and walking out the door.

When I heard my front door close with a loud click, I turned to assess the sight before me-there was a lot left to sort out and my temples begun to throb as a headache slowly begun to announce it's presence.

I walked slowly into my bathroom and turned on the faucet to run some cool water over my face-it would seem I had been right about the crying; it really didn't do me any good!

Leaning heavily on the front of the vanity I stared at my reflection in the mirror, and couldn't help but compare my appearance to that of Rosalie's earlier that day.

In contrast to her bright blue eyes, my deep chocolate eyes seemed boring and dull. My long and rich mahogany hair fell way past my shoulders in a knotted mass- I had been so occupied with work and my radical emotions that I hadn't washed it for a while. My creamy complexion made me appear tired and ghostlike, and the only evidence that I wasn't the living dead was the light flush that seemed to constantly brush my distinct cheek bones.

Where Rosalie was beautiful I was plausibly ordinary, and I knew I could never stand a chance with any reasonable man.

Closing the faucet, I crossed my arms across my chest and breathed deeply. Speaking to no one in particular I said, "Bella get a grip! You have just under a hour and a half to clean up this mess, have a shower, get dressed, and prepare the food and movies for tonight." I laughed, though the sound had no humour in it, "_No pressure._"

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

"Hey, come on in!" I called from the kitchen as I poured some potato chips into a large glass bowl.

Alice held the door open as her boyfriend Japer, Angela and her boyfriend Ben, and our friends Lauren, Jessica, Mike and Tyler filed into my apartment.

It was Friday and that meant movie night- it was a tradition. Every week it was held at a different person's house, and tonight it happened to be at mine.

I was a little hesitant at first, knowing that today may have been a difficult time for me to host a gathering. But after I thought about it a little more, I realised it was the perfect distraction and that my friends were sure to make me feel somewhat happier.

I smiled broadly and greeted everyone individually. I received a few reassuring hugs and whispered condolences, all which made me all the more grateful I had decided to follow through with tonight- I definitely needed the company.

Once everyone was settled in, the boys arguing loudly about which gridiron team was the best and the girls catching up on all they had missed in the past week, I placed cups and jugs of drink on the coffee table before ripping over a packet of Fantales.

I picked one of the wrapped chocolates from the package without looking- it was our way of deciding who picked the movie for the night, the boys or the girls.

The night's host would read the biography of a famous person from the back of the fantale, and the gender to answer correctly got to choose their desired movie.

I popped the Fantale in my mouth and read the back of the wrapper leisurely. I smiled to myself, knowing that with Alice on their side the girls had already won.

I waved the small wrapper around and tried to get everyone's attention, "Guys…" I paused, and when everyone still continued to talk I tried again, "Guys!" all the men instantly turned to look at me and I rolled my eyes before adding, "And girls!" which granted me the attention of my girlfriends.

I held up the wrapper, "Are you ready? Ok, here goes. _I was born on the 2__nd__ of May, 1955 in the _Italian city of Reggio di Calabria. Due to my closeness with my brother, I was plunged into the fashion industry and have remained there every since. I-"

"-Donatella Versace!" Alice's shrill yet excited cry burst through the silent room and I smiled in victory as I nodded at her.

As the girls shared hi-fives and exclaims of excitement, the boys (all for Jasper) accused Alice of cheating.

"Sorry boys," Alice said, kissing Jasper on the cheek fondly, "You snooze you lose!"

As Angela, Alice, Lauren and Jessica discussed what movie to watch I pulled some spare pillows and blankets from my hallway cupboard and threw them on the couch.

When the girls had finally decided on what film they wished to watch and called me over to sit beside them, I turned off the lights and joined everyone in waiting for Alice to start the DVD.

As the opening credits faded on and off the screen, I turned to Angela and whispered, "What did you girls chose?"

She turned towards me, and even in the dark I could see her smiling mischievously. "Titanic." She said and I laughed quietly, which earned me a hard shove in the ribs from Alice.

"Poor boys!" I said to Angela, before turning to Alice and saying, "You know I used to watch this with Renee all the time. Why did you…?" I trailed off as I had the sudden urge to cry and Alice squeezed my hand before saying, "Because you can't let yourself forget her –she'd be heartbroken. Besides Leonardo di Caprio is so amazing! You know, if here weren't so old and boring now, I think you and him would make a perfect couple!"

Now it was my turn to shove her, "No…" I whispered. "He always belonged to Renee- she loved him."

That was the last thing I said before silence fell across the room and we lost ourselves in a story of love and loss.

A story quite similar to my own actually.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**There's chapter 1!**

**I was so nervous posting this because I didn't know what you would all think of it…but it's up now so I suppose I just have to wait and see! :D**

**In regards to the Fantale chocolate's Bella mentions, I think they might only be an Australian chocolate…will post details and images of them in my profile for those of you who do not know what they are. **

**Life's VERY busy right now, so I will update when I can. Though either way, I would really appreciate hearing all your first thoughts and opinions, so PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE give this story a good beginning and REVIEW!**

**All my love,**

**Krissy**

**Heart** **of Diamonds**


	2. Pain and Kindness

**Disclaimer:****All the characters in this story belong first and foremost to Stephenie Meyer…the plot is my own, nothing else! (I promise) **

**So…CHAPTER 2! **

**It's taken me forever, I know (and I feel horrible), but it's here now and I only hope that the long wait will make you guys enjoy reading all the more…**

**Happy reading and don't forget to review! :)**

Chapter 2: Pain and Kindness

BELLA'S POV:

I couldn't sleep.

It was 6:00 in the morning and in the space of 2 hours I had showered, gone for a jog, showered again, finished cleaning up from last night's gathering and folded a whole pile of recently washed clothes.

All that and I still had about an hour to spare before I left for work.

I was currently rummaging through the chest of draws beside my bed in search of something decent to wear and was growing increasingly frustrated when I just couldn't choose anything- it was going to be another one of _those_ days.

I sighed in frustration, and as I was about to switch to searching through my wardrobe, I heard my phone's message tone sound from the kitchen.

_Hey Baaaaabbbeee_

Jacob's purposefully annoying tone (which he somehow managed to convey even in a text message) made me laugh; he really knew how to push my buttons-no pun intended.

_You coming today?_

_-J_

Without giving myself time to think about it I typed a simple,

_Yes_

and pressed send.

Within seconds my phone buzzed again;

_Can you come now? _

_ -J_

I paused for a moment-thinking. Then, placing my phone on the kitchen bench, I turned on my heel and headed back to my room.

I opened my cupboard and quickly grabbed jet-black tights, an oversized knitted maroon jumper (it was cold out again) and a camel coloured scarf.

I dressed just as swiftly, slipping my feet into a pair of ballet slippers which matched my scarf, and putting on just a light, natural layer of make-up.

I had washed my hair earlier so I left it out to dry and as I grabbed a jacket, and stuffed my few belongings into a shoulder bag, I also walked through my small apartment-switching all remaining lights off.

I grabbed my phone from the kitchen and as I closed the front door behind me I also replied to Jacob's second text:

_On my way now._

I hurried down the stairs and into the parking lot where I slid into my sleek black Mercedes.

_Well…_I thought as I started the ignition, _It's now or never._

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

I pulled up alongside the pavement parking spot, trying to gauge whether my car was small enough to fit in the tiny space.

I had been circling the block for no less than ten minutes and up until now had found no where to park- it was Sunday, which meant the weekly market place would be up and running, and that lead to a swarm of people charging down to their favourite stalls as early as possible.

So knowing there was no hope of me finding another, more decent sized parking place, I decided to try to squeeze my car into the small space.

It was when I was attempting to reverse my Mercedes smoothly into the spot for the sixth time that I became aware of a figure standing on the curb outside my window.

I turned so I could see more than just a blurred shape and came to face to face with none other than Mr Jacob Black himself- my second best friend in the world (or at least that's what Alice makes a point of informing me).

Ignoring the impatient car horns sounding from the growing procession of vehicles behind me, I lowered my window and smiled out at him broadly.

"Come to laugh at my failure?" I questioned lightly.

He laughed and moved to open the driver side door, saying; "Not quite, I'm here to help." He gestured for me to get out of the car and I did so willingly (not wanting to be the culprit for one moment longer).

Though that did not stop me from teasing him again, "What? You think _you_ can do a better job?"

Jacob glanced up at me and the look on his face was pure mockery and clearly read _Did you really just ask me that? _

I sighed, "Ok, you're probably right. Though I don't see how you can park my car without damaging it- or at least those parked on either side."

"Mh-Hm, you make a valid point Ms. Swan," Sarcasm laced his voice. "Which is why I'm not going to even _try_ to park in this miniscule spot- as much as I would love the extra customer's. I'm taking this baby to the garage-I'll meet you there." Then, in one smooth turn of the steering wheel, he pulled away from the sidewalk and drove in the direction of his workshop.

"Show off" I muttered warmly, and proceeded in the direction he had just disappeared to.

I entered the garage and glanced at the sign above the doorway which read '_Jacob's Mechanics'_ in bold, red letters (Original name, right?) as a chorus of "Hey Bella's!" greeted me, and I couldn't help but feel automatically at home.

Even though I had never been a grease monkey, the busy but warm atmosphere of the workplace and the fact that it was filled with many old friends, calmed my nerves.

I spotted Jacob within a couple of minutes and he pulled me into a warm hug as soon as I reached his side.

He didn't have to say anything- his hug said it all; "I'm sorry.", "I love you.", "I'm here for you"- all of it.

I smiled up at him and whispered a small, "Thank you."

He nodded slightly and then sighing asked, "You ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

He smiled reassuringly and said, "I'll give you a few moments to say goodbye."

I couldn't decide whether he was joking or being serious but I decided to just go with it- sometimes you have to with Jacob.

I opened the driver side door to my car- Renee's car- and slid in.

I don't know how long I just sat there, remembering the times when my mother would drive me to dance eisteddfods when I was younger (apparently my physically impairment was no match for my excitement) and the days we would drive for hours on end to collect fresh produce for her café.

I could not remember how many times the Mercedes had been serviced over the years, but I knew that it was almost half my age- around twelve years old or something ridiculous like that.

I had practically grown up with this car and because of that it was home to many reminders of my mother- the musky smell, the scratch on the leather seat, the cross hanging off the rear view mirror.

Each with their own story to tell…

And the reasons why I had decided to sell the vehicle.

I ran my left hand fondly over the scratch in the black leather seat beside me-remembering how I had been so excited to wear the new pair of jeans my mother had bought me and did not think of the consequence of the zippers on the back pockets. I was sixteen at the time.

I reached up slowly and removed the Swarovski rosary beads from the mirror. They were a gift of protection from my mother's doctor on the day she had been diagnosed with breast cancer- that was four years ago when I was twenty years old.

I breathed deeply-inhaling the same musky smell that had been in the car from the very beginning; dust, leather, and Renee's Chanel perfume. I knew, of all the things that simple scent would remain with me forever.

I closed my eyes for a moment, suppressing the sudden lump in my throat as well as the memories that had caused it.

I sighed, murmured a small "Goodbye" and, not allowing myself to dwell on the matter, got out of the Mercedes and walked over to where Jacob was waiting for me.

I handed him my car keys silently and, trusting that I knew what I was doing, he then nodded in acceptance.

I smiled softly and bumped my shoulder against his lightly. Then wrapping my arm around his waist I echoed his earlier text message, "So Baaaaaaabe," He laughed and I felt him relax a little (I am yet to understand why he worries so much about me), "Where's my sweet-ride?"

Jacob laughed again and I allowed my smile to broaden, glad that I had successfully relieved the tension.

He then draped his arm over my shoulder and begun to steer me towards the very back of the workshop.

"I wouldn't be so keen. I mean the thing will take you where ever you want to go, but I can't promise efficiency…it's hardly a work of art and is _definitely_ not_ a 'sweet-ride'_." He drew quotation marks in the air on the last word and I looked at him in mock hurt, but he just rolled his eyes.

That's what I loved about our relationship- we were so comfortable with each other.

Don't misunderstand me, I love Alice to death! But she's a female and, like any normal woman, often becomes moody and jealous-especially when she's not shopping!

Plus, there's only so much you can tell a girlfriend. An old boyfriend however? Now that's a different story.

Think about it; once you share a physical and affectionate relationship with someone you also share a deep connection. That connection means that you will either marry each other, hate each other or will become the best of friends who tell each other the deepest, darkest, most ridiculous and most crude secrets.

And that's exactly what had happened between Jacob and I; We dated for a while in high school and for a little while afterwards- he was my sweetheart. We first met in freshman year, became really good friends and then eventually progressed into something more.

It was one of those dream relationships; we told each other everything, we didn't arguing and Jake was a real gentlemen.

But it was that perfection that eventually led to us questioning what we had- what we felt. And the decision to end it was mutual.

I was sad but looking back now I realise it was the best thing we could have done. Because of it, I gained an even stronger relationship with Jacob and the older brother I never had-now the thought of dating him is just weird!

I smiled to myself and squeezed Jake's waist, revelling in the comfort I felt in his familiar embrace.

"Well, as long as it won't fall apart I'll take it." I said in response to his previous statement.

Jacob snorted and said, "I _can't_ promise you that- but I _can_ promise it's only temporary." He gestured to the space in front of us and I finally looked away from him- only to spot biggest, oldest looking Chevrolet I had ever seen.

I spoke aloud the first thing that came to my mind; "It's perfect!" and I meant it.

Not only was the truck such a far cry from Renee's Mercedes-which meant I could live contently without constant reminders of my mother- but it also possessed a lot of character, which was exactly what I needed.

I needed to move on.

I needed change.

I needed to heal.

And I had a strange feeling that the Chevrolet was the necessary factor for that very process to commence.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

I changed gears and I rounded the corner to drive along the popular shopping strip my café was situated on.

I had left Jacob's garage about fifteen minutes ago-after he had given me a shotgun lesson in how to drive a manual car- and the dashboard clock now read 7:50am.

It was still too early to open shop but I was keen to prepare a few things before my employees and customers began arriving. So I hurriedly pulled into my usual parking spot directly in front of my café and turned the ignition off, wanting to rid myself of the horrible, loud rumble of the Chevy's engine.

_That's going to take some getting used to_. I thought.

I sunk back into the padded seat, taking a moment to simply stop and breathe-something I hadn't done all morning.

I looked to my left and tried to take in the café front from the perspective of any normal person walking past- not the daughter of the former owner who had inherited the shop because it was stated in her deceased mother's will.

An old, wooden sign hung above the doorway and read _"Renee's Place"_ in black, cursive writing.

The smaller window to the left held a brilliant display, including a classical wrought iron coffee table and matching chair, a pile of old leather books, woven sacks rimmed with coffee beans and various ornate picture frames with inspiring quotes and painted images.

The larger glass window on the right produced passers by with a glimpse of the cafes interior, which possessed the same warmth as the window display.

The more I stood outside and observed, the more fascinated I grew.

I slammed my truck's door shut as I slid out of it, and head towards the café's sturdy red front door.

Every time I stepped inside, I thought of Renee.

The oak bookshelf lining the back wall beside the bathroom was crammed with all of our favourite books; from romance novels (_Gone with the Wind_ was my mother's favourite) and children's storybooks (I grew up with _The Hungry Caterpillar_ and still loved it).

Empty hessian coffee sacks hung on the walls, as did large ornate mirrors and diverse colourful images.

A single rose in a vase decorated each iron table and a silk cushion sat on each chair.

Other little trinkets-empty wine bottles, candles, statues-were also scattered all around the room.

Combined with the unmistakeable smell of roasting coffee (the roaster was situated beside the front counter, to the left of the entrance) and the tempting sight of homemade treats which were baked fresh and displayed every morning, it was easy to see how the café was well and truly _"Renee's Place"_-her very essence was everywhere.

The special part was that I was the only one who witnessed just how much effort went into making this store what it currently was.

I had discussed many of my mother's many ideas, comforted her when she was overwhelmed by stress and relished in her enthusiasm and happiness.

I was the only one by her side at all times, and so I had to finish what we started before she died- I had to add the final touch.

Placing my bag on one of the tables, I walked over to the wall on the side of the front counter without the coffee grinder.

The wall painting there brought tears to my eyes as I lost myself in the moment it symbolised; a mother and daughter sat with their back to the onlooker and the mother had her arms wrapped around her child lovingly. They were watching the setting sun from a place on the rock's of an unknown beach.

In truth, I was the young girl in the painting, and Renee was the mother figure.

The image was not based on a photograph, but simply a memory; it captured the moment after Renee had told me about the cancer and was set in our "special spot"- the place we had been visiting together for years.

Renee was naturally a creative person and of all she did to design and create her wonderful café, painting this image was the only thing she executed with sheer passion and perfection.

Mum was a natural and she thrived when she painted, and I loved watching her- just as she loved watching me write.

When I was fourteen, I begun to write creatively- poetry mostly.

That year was full of many harsh obstacles- including the Asshole who was my father, Charlie-and keeping a journal was the only way I could express myself.

From there I suddenly found myself writing different texts and doing so more often.

Writing for me was like painting for Renee-healing for the soul. And we had decided from the beginning that the wall painting would be a feature in the cafe that would hold a small piece of both of us- her own masterpiece, my poetry and a shared memory.

I was here to add my piece to the puzzle.

Glancing up at the clock I noticed that the time had reached 8:00am, and knowing the chef's would arrive at 8:30am to begin preparing and cooking some food, I decided to start writing- or painting rather.

I had not composed anything prior to this moment because I know that I write better as I think- the words come from my heart that way, and promise that whatever I write will be special.

After finding the paint mat, tub of navy blue paint, and thin paint brush I had previously packed away, I begun to write- all the while thinking of my mother and that special moment on the rocks;

_A place-our place; the only haven to the secrets we shared,_

_ The memories I have._

_The sky__, a magical array of summer colours,_

_The water __–breathtaking-crystal clear, _

_The rocks sparkling in the light of the setting sun,_

_And your embrace- above all else- __ your embrace._

_Then…_

_Two words__ (that's all it took)_

_shatter my perfect reality._

_M__ake you hold me closer-tighter._

_T__wo words,_

_A breathe,_

_A heart beat, _

_Then__ all I had was a memory._

"_Love you." _

_Two words, I still hold on to. _

I sighed heavily and, stepping away from the wall, wiped my wet cheeks with the back of one of my paint splattered hands.

I was never keen on painting and my hand writing had never been very neat, but I was deffinetly happy with the end result and I knew that Renee would be ecstatic as well- all I ever had to do was try my best and she would be pleased.

She was the best mother in the world.

Well, _had been_ the best mother in the world.

Before I could lose myself in an onslaught of tears, snot and sobs, a light rapping on the cafes front door caught my attention and I went to answer it.

Time seemed to have escaped me, for standing at the entrance was my head Chef, James, and his right hand woman, Victoria.

Together they made quite an unmissable couple and their loud opinion not only ensured they were noticed, but that they also got into trouble-too often for my liking.

Despite that, they were truly great cooks and amazing people. Plus, Renee loved both them both so I had no intention of releasing them anytime soon.

I smiled broadly and stepped aside to let them in as James said, "Your here early."

I nodded and replied quietly, "I had some things I needed to finish up."

Closing the door, I turned and saw Victoria standing directly in front of the now complete feature wall, and realised she had just figured out what the 'some things'' I had referred to were exactly.

The room filled with a harsh silence and I couldn't find anywhere to look let alone anything to say.

It wasn't long before Victoria soon broke the horrible quietness; "Bella, it's beautiful-Renee would have loved it."

"She's right, Bells- it really is something special", that was James.

I smiled timidly at their praise- I had never been a very public person so to have people reading something that bared my soul so completely was a little unnerving to say the least.

"Thank you."

Victoria turned to face me then, her fiery red hair falling from her shoulder, and smiled knowingly.

I smiled in return and, keen to change the subject, said; "Well you two better get cooking; it's already 8:40 and you have a whole bunch of cakes, sandwiches and pies to prepare by 10:00. I'll pack this mess away and come and help you if you like?"

James nodded enthusiastically and stepped forward to squeeze my hand reassuringly before he followed Victoria into the kitchen.

Suddenly, I felt an odd dripping sensation on my right foot, and looked down to realise that navy paint had splattered all over my comfy ballet flats- I was still holding the paint tinged brush in my right hand, and not only had the thick substance splattered by shoes but it had also made a trail on the hardwood floor.

I sighed heavily at my oblivious self and, slipping off my shoes so at so not mark the floor with footsteps, I walked back towards my little set-up beside the counter.

I bent swiftly to pick up the open paint can only to lose my footing on the loose floor cloth and fall flat on my stomach- bringing the practically full canister down with me.

The previously clean cloth soaked steadily with the spilt paint and my scarf, jumper _and_ recently washed hair were also stained.

"Shit!" I muttered to myself.

I stood up carefully and called for Victoria, hoping she would help me clean up this disaster (after she laughed at my clumsiness of course).

While I waited for her to come to my rescue, I spoke aloud to the empty room, "Genius Isabella, absolute genius." Then I added, "You know, speaking to yourself is the first sign of madness?" I sighed heavily, "And so my day begins."

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

Because other stores rarely opened on Sundays my staff and I were met with an onslaught of people who needed their morning dose of caffeine.

It was currently 11:30am and the morning rush had finally begun to die down, though that didn't do a lot for my stress levels.

Already this morning I had managed to:

Spill a whole can of paint

Burn myself three times whilst trying to help Victoria prepare a batch of our specialty cupcakes (chocolate and vanilla swirl)

Walked into the open dishwasher

Spilt a flask of milk

Walked into the open dishwasher again

_A__nd_ accidently misplaced a series of orders.

Like I said- one of _those_ days.

After I handed an older woman her "regular skim milk latte with one and a half sugars, to go", I turned and smiled tiredly at Angela, as she said, "It's over-_finally_!"

I laughed and shook my head, "No, it's just getting started. People will be swarming this place for lunch in just a little over half an hour...though still, I shouldn't complain; it's a blessing we've been so successful."

She smiled softly and said, "It sure is- Renee would be proud."

I nodded and said to myself, "I wish I could just move on already!" Then more loudly added, "I hope so...Why don't you go out back and see if those sandwiches are ready to be brought out? The food display and trays are almost empty and we should be preparing for lunch."

Angela bit her lip in hesitation and I said jokingly, "Go or I'll fire you!"

She laughed at that, "_Sure_ you will Bella."

I crossed my arms over my chest in mock defiance and said, "Push me any further and you just wait and see...Go- I'll clean up some tables." Angela, still smiling, nodded in agreement and went to do as I asked.

As soon as she was out of sight, I felt the smile slip from my face – Jake was right, I should have picked up Drama in my Freshman year. "You can hold a convincing facade," he always said.

_If only he knew,_ I thought. _I try to be strong but I'm really dying on the inside-I don't know how much longer I can hold up...I miss Renee and hate her and love her and never want to see her again all at once. _ I glanced wistfully at the painting on the wall then, and the horrible, alone feeling inside of me seemed to worsen.

I sighed and picked up a spray bottle of disinfectant and a damp cloth, hoping some good old work would get my mind off things.

My body had begun too ache from my run this morning and I leant forward stiffly to wipe down a few sticky, crumb covered tables.

I then turned towards a young mother sitting on another table and, noticing her plates and mugs had been pushed to the side, offered to clear them for her.

She smiled thankfully, as I carefully lifted the glassware off the table and turned to place them on the front counter.

What I was not counting on however was that a tall, lean figure would be standing a close distance behind me, and I not only ran right into them, but also naturally managed to splash some of the customer's remaining coffee onto the person's grey, button down shirt.

Before I could so much as apologise (why do I always get myself into such embarrassing situations?) a silky voice said lightly, "We really should stop meeting like this."

I glanced up and found myself staring into the kind, open eyes of Edward from yesterday's coffee disaster.

I blushed furiously and blurted, "What are you doing here?"

He tilted his head whilst obviously trying to suppress a smile and said, "Well it's nice to see you again too."

I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry- I didn't mean it to sound like that! I just wasn't expecting you to come back after...well-after..." I seemed to lose my train of thought as Edward smiled.

Luckily, he saved me from myself as he completed my sentence; "The little incident yesterday? Bella, it was honestly nothing- not to me anyway- Rosalie is still a little tiffed about her suit though."

My heart fluttered when he said my name in that amazing English accent of his (what was it about him?) and I joined in on his laughter.

"Thank you..." I said quietly, and he nodded humbly as if he somehow knew his consolation really did mean the world to me. Then I added, "And in that case please sit down-I'll send someone over in just a minute."

He nodded and brushed passed me to take a seat at one of the tables near the bookcase on the back wall.

I walked slowly over to the front counter, all the while trying to calm my racing heart and cool my flaming face.

As I quickly rinsed off the dirty dishes and loaded them into the already bursting dishwasher, I called for some help from out back- smiling at Edward as he glanced up at my voice.

Jamie, one of my waitresses who seemed to have disappeared all morning, decided to grace me with her presence then, "You've been back there all morning? Doing _what_? Couldn't you see that we were swamped out here? Some help would have been nice..."

She shrugged nonchalantly, "I have a hangover and feel like shit, I'm only here today because Danielle couldn't stand in for me."

"What? So you don't lift a finger?" I was fuming- I couldn't count the number of times Jamie had done this to me on two hands and I also couldn't understand my reasons for keeping her here.

I rubbed my hands over my face as if to wipe my hostile expression away (I did not want to create yet another scene), and shaking my head said, "Put on an apron, grab a notepad and pen and go and serve the man sitting at table thirteen." I gestured in Edward's direction.

She rolled her eyes at my pissed tone, but her expression brightened instantly when she followed my hand to see Edward sitting patiently in the corner.

"Sure thing..." Her voice was practically a hiss and I had to stop myself from firing her at the moment- she was not professional in the slightest.

She smirked suggestively at me and slinked off in the direction of Edward's table- leaving me in her putrid, two-faced wake.

I huffed to myself, muttering a string of profanities under my breath as Angela appeared from the kitchen.

"Jamie?" she asked.

I nodded and she shook her head in disbelief, "I don't know why you don't just fire the bitch."

I laughed-surprised at her suddenly bitter tone- and said; "Neither do I. I think I'm too nice; every time I come to do it I don't have the heart. I just keep telling myself that she will one day improve magically."

She snorted then, "When pigs fly!"

I laughed and turned to see Jamie walking back towards us- an angry and confused expression on her face.

"What is it now?", Angela practically spat at her.

"He-he..." she trailed off, furrowing her eyebrows and shaking her head in bewilderment, "He asked for _you_." She pointed her index finger at me and then lifted her hand to her head, "I think I need a glass of water. Excuse me." She walked around the counter and back into the kitchen- looking absolutely crushed.

"She's obviously used to being rejected." I said sarcastically, turning back to Angela only to find her studying Edward intently.

Out of my peripheral vision I could see him staring at me and, refusing to look at him in fear of melting beneath his intense gaze, spoke directly to my friend; "What is it?"

She turned to me- a sly smile on her face- and said, "Oh, nothing! But gorgeous over there asked for you so you better go and serve him."

I narrowed my eyes at her and said, "Angela, Don't you dare go all 'Alicey' on me- Edward and I are just friends! And don't _you_ have a boyfriend?"

"Edward? You're on a first name basis now, are you?" she teased.

I slapped her lightly, "I don't know him! I only met him yesterday."

"You don't know him _yet_- give it time."

I shook my head in incredulity, walking away and saying over my shoulder, "You and Alice would make a lovely couple!"

Her laughter followed me as I approached Edward's table, pulling a notepad and pen from the pouch in my apron.

"You asked for me?" He laughed and nodded, winking at me playfully.

"I sure did; I wanted to ask you something I don't think the other woman could have answered, or would have cared about."

"Oh?"

Edward nodded towards the left of the front counter, where Renee's painting was; "I noticed the painting yesterday- it's wonderful- but the poem is new. I was hoping you could tell me who wrote it; I'm a sucker for good literature."

His interest caught me off guard and I did all I could to delay feeding it, "So am I- I've loved reading since I was a little girl. All these books," I gestured to the bookshelf beside him, "are part of my collection. Well, me and my mother's collection."

"It really is something." He said softly, staring at the book cramped shelving.

Then he looked back at me suddenly and said, "But you never answered my question; who wrote the poem?"

I paused for a moment- searching desperately for a way around his inquiry.

But my mind failed me and I eventually said, "I did."

I stared at the floor, too scared to watch his face in fear of being greeted by something far too hostile. Therefore, when I felt him stand up and lift my chin in the crook of his finger I was caught by complete surprise.

My eyes begun to brim with tears as all my suppressed emotions begun to surface at Edward's sudden show of sympathy.

His eyebrows furrowed in perplexity and his usually sparkling green eyes darkened slightly with a concern that I could not understand; "I was overly forward and now I've upset you-I'm sorry." He said softly.

I closed my eyes and smiled sadly at him, "It's not you..." I whispered, "It's me. I-" I paused, stumbling over my next words and knowing how pathetic I was going to sound, "The past few months have been _gruelling_. I've been through a lot on a personal level that I'm not quite ready to open up about, and that wall mural just brings back a lot of memories." I lifted my hand to meet his own, which was still cupping my chin, and squeezed it tightly. "Thank you so much for your concern and kindness- not just now but yesterday as well. Maybe someday you can understand..."

He nodded, smiled, and squeezed my hand in return, saying; "I'd like that."

I sighed and brushed my hair away from my face, "Now, would you like to order something? Maybe this time I can try not to spill it all over you."

He laughed and the sound seemed to relax us both; "It's a little too late for that now, don't you think?" He gestured to the coffee stain on his shirt from when I had walked into him earlier, "It looks like I've found my reason to come back."

I threw him a questioning gaze and he winked at me before saying, "Until you stop spilling substances on me and tripping over yourself, it seems it would be best for me to keep returning to this lovely little cafe. For your own safety if nothing else."

His overly serious tone and flirty nature made me laugh, and I found myself wondering how he had managed to cheer me up so easily.

"I wouldn't hold your breath." I said, warning him of my clumsy tendencies as if he were not already aware of them.

"On the contrary, the more I can see you Miss, the better- you intrigue me."

His accent flared and my heart pounded; _Me? Intriguing? Well that's certainly a first. _I thought.

Then out loud I said, "Swan- Miss Swan."

He gestured to himself, "Edward Masen."

I smiled and continued; "And you know, you're quite intimidating Edward; with all your questions and arguments."

Nodding he said, "I would hope so- I'm a lawyer."

I rose my eyebrows in surprise but said nothing, leaving my impressed thoughts to myself.

"So a short black, right?" I asked.

He smiled broadly and nodded once more; "Right."

I slipped my blue pen and paper pad in my apron pocket, and smiled at him before approaching the bookshelf slowly in search of one of my favourites.

I could feel Edward's gaze following me and with my back still facing him I explained; "You said you are a sucker for good literature and that you are also intrigued by me. I think I have a book that will help you with both of those things."

I paused for a moment, simply looking, and exclaimed in happiness when I found the novel I had been searching for.

I held it up so Edward could get a glimpse of the cover, before placing it on the table in front of him.

I walked backwards, steadily increasing the distance between us, and said, "_Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's_ stone by the ingenious and talented J.K Rowling. My mother used to read it to me when I was younger and I would imagine I was Hermione- smart, pretty and still able to kick ass."

He laughed and his green eyes sparkled cheekily.

I continued, "Unfortunately I was never too steady on my feet, so things didn't quite work out how I had planned. But even now, I still pretend that things in life are the results of amazing magic; like childbirth or laughter or a sunset." I gestured to the painting on the wall and his eyes bore into mine as I felt my back hit the counter.

I took in a deep breath before saying, "I close my eyes, remember my mother's soothing voice, and conjure those things in my imagination-it helps me through. Sometimes it's the only way I can keep my whits about me!"

I turned then- not wanting Edward to see the shocked expression on my face (what I had just told him was only known to those closest to me)- and entered the space behind the counter.

Just before I switched the coffee machine on, I heard the amazing sound of Edward's laughter, and looked up to see him open the front cover of a book that truly changed my life.

I smiled happily, knowing that in that short moment Renee had been watching over me, and that it was possibly even my mother that had brought Edward to me in the first place- made him show me such compassion.

Ignoring the searing hole in my heart at the thought of Renee, I sent up a silent prayer of thanks to whoever is up there and then begun making Edward's coffee.

However, not before I burnt my fingers for the fourth time that day.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**And there we have it...It took me forever to get this chapter finished, but it's quite long so I hope that makes up for the time lapse.**

**If Bella seems a little confused in her actions, I've tried to do that on purpose- she's having trouble dealing with Renee's death and doesn't want to let go but can't deal with the pain either. All will be explained as the story progresses- I promise. **

**The inspiration images for 'Renee's Place' will be placed into my profile in the next couple of days, so please go and have a look so you can picture the cafe with more clarity.**

**Also, PLEASE REVIEW!**

**I know you're all there (I get alerts every time a user puts my story on their favourites, ect...) but I'm not hearing from you. Your opinion and criticism truly mean a lot to me and I try to take it all into account. It is also the first time I've written poetry on ff, so your thoughts would be appreciated.**

**I'll stop waffling now, but THANK YOU FOR READING!**

**I hope you enjoyed it,**

**REVIEW!**** REVIEW! REVIEW! :P**

**Xoxo**

**Krissy**

**Heart of Diamonds**


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